The past two weeks have been interesting. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said in exasperation, “Lord, I don’t know what to do?!” We’ve all heard the saying “When in doubt, don’t.” So what do you do when you don’t know what to do?
I prayed, listened, waited, prayed, listened and waited some more. I even brought up to the Lord yesterday that I know He didn’t want us testing Him but to please be patient with me and guide me in the right direction. He wants us to pray His Word so I brought up the Gideon incident where Gideon prayed to the Lord for a sign and was granted his request via a fleece and some dew. All I wanted and needed was a “fleece” moment. I feel like I have spent most of my life screwing up and I needed His guidance.
I was rambling and praying most of the day yesterday and it was something like, “Ok, Lord, if this doesn’t happen, then I’ll assume You meant for me to do this other thing. Just open a door somewhere and I’ll go through it. I need a push in the right direction!”
Allowing my husband to make a tough call yesterday, I was attemping to be submissive (which can be hard for me if I don’t agree with the calling) and I was trying to show God that I could be. He knows my heart and my willingness.
Remember Abraham and Isaac? God told Abraham to take Isaac, his only son, and sacrifice him on the altar. The Bible doesn’t imbelish on what went through Abraham’s mind but just the fact that he moved and attempted to go through what the Lord asked of him, showed he had a willing heart. He was obedient. Right at the last minute, God stopped him and provided a sacrifice that day. And because Abraham was willing and showed obedience, even to the point of sacrificing his only son, God blessed him. Remember, too, that Abraham was no spring chicken. He was over 100 at this point and even in that time, was beyond the age of giving offspring. So, potentially, he could have killed his only son and not been able to have another. Of course, God being who He is, could have risen Isaac back from the dead. Abraham had to have great faith for this act of obedience, don’t you think?
Yesterday, it came down to that for me. I was willing to sacrifice something I loved and be obedient. Yet, God came through for me at the last minute. I thanked Him profusely and humbly. I think sometimes He does that, just to see if we are willing and how obedient our hearts truly are.
There are many times in my life that He has come through at the last minute for me. Are they tests? Could be. Are they pruning of something that needs to be gone? Could be. Only God knows why. We just need to be obedient.