Bragging on the wonderous works of my God

Posts tagged ‘Beth Moore’

God Speaks

God does speak to His children.  You just have to be tuned in to hear Him. This week was an interesting, awe-inspiring event for me.  It doesn’t take much as you’ll see in a minute.  🙂

My son is having a difficult time at work because he wants to be doing something that isn’t available right now and he called to talk to me about it.  My heart went out to him because I’ve “been there, done that…got the T-shirt.”  So I began to pray for him. I prayed that the Lord would calm him and give him patience to stick it out until the right thing comes along. 

The next morning, I’m doing my devotions and it’s about David.  The “Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed” series features Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arthur.  I’m into Priscilla’s lesson on “Anointed and Disappointed” and the whole time I’m reading it thinking about my son.  So I stopped and sent him a text about David and how he was anointed at the young age of 15 but didn’t actually take the throne and rule over Israel for another 22 years.  In the meantime, he tended sheep, played a harp for King Saul and took food to his brothers who were engaged in battle.  Those were menial, boring jobs. He did it anyway.  God used all He put David through to make him the greatest king Israel ever knew…the man after God’s own heart.

I told him to be patient. Your time will come when it’s right.

I got a text back a couple of hours later from him that just said, “That’s weird.”

I sent a text back with….”why’s that weird?”   No response.

So, I went over to his house after work with a copy of the study. He had to read that lesson. It just screamed at me the whole time that he needed it.

He finally explained to me that after I talked to him, he kept “hearing” “David, David, David, David” whispered in his spirit and then I sent that text the next day about the same thing.

I love it when God does that.  It’s so awesome that THE CREATOR of the Universe wants to have a relationship with me and you!

God speaks in so many ways.  Through others sharing His word, His word directly, the Holy Spirit living inside, Bible studies, and even Christian music. We just have to learn to discern that Voice.  If it is jumping off the page at you, He’s speaking to you.

Oh yes, God speaks.  Are you listening?

Fear of Pain?

I was watching Beth Moore today on Life Today.  I usually catch up on her Wednesday show via iTunes.  It’s about a 20 minute segment and I really enjoy it.

She brought up a subject that made a light bulb go off in my head.  How many times has the Lord compelled you to be healed but you won’t take the step of faith because you are afraid of the pain of the process?  That is the biggest lie of the devil.   If we are already in pain, what is there to be afraid of?  God only has our best interest at heart.

I remember for about a year, I wanted to lose weight so badly. I talked to God about it constantly. And I do mean constantly.  Every time I went to get a shower and looked in the mirror, I started dialoguing about how much I would love to be smaller.  Every time I moved, I wanted to be smaller. Everybody I watched on TV made me want to be smaller.  Shopping for clothes was non-existent because it reminded me of how much I wanted to be smaller.  Stuffing my face with junk food just caused more pain because the whole time I ate, I hated myself.

Oh sure, I was 286 lbs and I needed to be smaller.  I begged God for help. I whined about all of the things I could not physically do nor could I afford to do them. This went on for a year.  I can’t tell you the last time I was under 200 lbs, come to think of it.  But I’m sure God was getting His fill of my excuses and whining and fears.

He got my attention to nudge me in the direction of doing what I needed to be doing all along.  In August of last year, I had an acutely inflamed sciatic nerve that just about did me in. I was in pain, a lot of pain.  Every movement was excruciating.  YET, in my mind, I was SCARED of going through the healing process. Sounds ridiculous now that it is in black and white. Well, truthfully, it was ridiculous.

Once the healing began, I have never felt better in my life.  I have my full brain function back. Seriously.  I was having swiss-cheese brain farts and I just figured it was because I was getting older (I’m only 46) but, hey, any excuse’ll do…right?   I am not constantly thinking about my weight.  I can focus where I truly should be focusing…on Christ.

Yesterday marked the first week of being totally free of anti-depressants since 2000.  I prayed about that, too.  Fear of the process?  Yes, I was scared. I admitted that outright to the Lord and asked for His help daily.  Totally different from when I was running from the pain of getting healthy. This was something I truly wanted to be free from.

God can do amazing things if we let Him.  He’s not the kind of God to force His will upon us. He has given us free will.  He lovingly and patiently waits until we take the first step of faith. He will then move mountains to help us.

Blogging

I started blogging somewhere around 2007-2008.  I was in real estate and just got into the trend to help get my name out there.  Funny thing was that most of my blogs weren’t about real estate.  They were about spiritual matters.

My pastor read some of my posts at the time told me that I needed to be teaching.  Uh no, not one of my spiritual gifts…but thanks…I think…

I started this blog after putting my journey on paper about the things that God has done in my life in the past few years.  My Mom read it and said that I needed to publish it.  I always feel like she says stuff like that because she’s my Mom.  Ya know?

But I just had it in a Word document and I thought that if I could help someone else who may have gone through some of the same things, why not put them online.  That is one of the reasons why God allows us to go through things so that we can be of comfort to others.

I’m just me and I hope that some of my experiences can help you through yours or keep you from making the same mistakes.

I have a deep hunger for the Word of God and I can’t get enough of Him.  I spend most of my time with the Lord first thing in the morning before I begin my day.

My dog loves this time of day because she lays on the bed and snores while I read and study.  I have a basset hound and any chance she can get to lay down and snore, it’s her favorite time. 🙂

I started off with Our Daily Bread just to get in the habit of reading or spending time with the Lord first thing years ago.  It wasn’ long before that was not enough.  I was taking part in Bible studies at church but it frustrated me when we would take a week off or it would be weeks before another would begin again so I started doing them at home. I thank God for Beth Moore and her willingness to share her experiences and making her studies available online. I have learned a tremendous amount through her studies.  I love Kay Arthur but you have to actually take a class in a group setting conducted by a Precepts authorized teacher.  There are many studies out there.  Priscilla Shirer is a good one, too.  I really enjoyed her series on Jonah.  Lifeway has been my lifeline to Bible studies and helping me to dig deeper.

Start something. Take that first step. You make the effort, God will meet you there. The first thing in the morning for me is best because I am less distracted and it helps to set my tone for the day.  It also keeps me in constant dialogue with Him throughout the day.

I may or may not blog every day but I try to put down things that inspire me or move me and I hope you enjoy them.

Thanks for reading.

 

January Blues

January 1, 2012 – – Well, we’ve reached 2012.  Some would call it a milestone. I just feel like it’s another day.  Yesterday, while I showered and got dressed, I felt the Spirit speaking to me.  I had always wondered what my “fruit” was and yesterday, He told me.  Through teaching my step-daughter about Jesus, she is now actively involved in church and her youngest, Dekoda, was telling my step-son’s girlfriend, Kaitlyn, about Jesus.  How awesome is that?

I was soooo relieved yesterday to hear Beth Moore talk about her “wild man” husband, Keith.  She told us he goes to church when HE wants to.  She couldn’t make him do anything.  But it didn’t stop her from going, of course.

So, I felt like I had been sitting around here wallowing in self-pity for a year, waiting on Hallmark Man to make up his mind.

So, still struggling with the submission thing, I was praying in my heart about church.  I sensed the Spirit telling me to confront Hallmark Man head-on about it.  So, after wrestling with that for a bit, I finally asked him, “Ok. I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to be honest with me.”  He just stared blankly at me.  “Do you want to go to church or do you really just not care?”  I was hoping he would say he didn’t care and I could go back to MY church family.  I didn’t get that answer.  “I want to go to church.  I just haven’t found one I like.”  Well, Lord…now what??  He can’t find one he likes sitting on his butt on Sunday mornings playing video games.  

I can’t just up and leave him(did that for a year) if he wants to go (but I don’t see an effort here).  Why should I be the one to come up with the ideas???  Isn’t HE supposed to be the spiritual leader of the household??  I am the one to submit.  Yet, I am feeling guilty about not being in church.  I miss seeing the same faces on Sunday morning and Sunday night.  Wednesday night always made me uncomfortable.  I don’t know why churches insist on having small table groups and “everybody pray” (awkward) or come to the altar and pray if you feel led (even more awkward silence).  I know typically Wednesday nights are smaller crowds—not even a crowd–should say “group.”   Wednesday nights are hard to get to church. That is when I am usually the most tired.  Half the work week is over and I am ready to sleep.  What is it with Baptists and Wednesday nights???

Ok. I am rambling here but that’s how I feel.  Needed to get that out there.

I know I am losing weight still but feels like it is taking forever.  My leg is better.  I think squatting down to feed the little miniature dachshund behind us has actually strengthened it.

My size 22 black jeans are baggy.  I am thinking about trying on some 20’s at Wal-Mart this weekend—IF I can find any.  I looked before and couldn’t.  I may be stuck with the 22s for a bit longer.  Maybe I can go to the thrift store and find some decent pants to get me through. I hate to pay full price for pants I’ll shrink out of.

You know, maybe I should write in this journal in the mornings. I have more on my mind then.  By the time the evening comes, my mind is toast and I am fighting with my attention to the TV for it.

Next month is going to be hard on Mom.  Their wedding anniversary and the anniversary of his death will be here.  Can’t believe it’s almost been a year since he’s been gone. I miss him, but I know not like Mom does.  She’s all alone.  She needs a dog.  I don’t know what I would do without mine. She is so much company.  I get the attention from her that I don’t get from my husband.  I know he gets jealous of her but she does things that I like to do and he won’t.  Some days I get lonely and I don’t like more than 2 days off.  I can’t stand not having something to do.  I know…I’m weird.

 

Goodbye 2011

December 23, 2011 – – This week has flown by.  Yesterday, Boss bought steaks and we had a delicious Christmas lunch.  He has been sick this week and I’ve been gargling with salt water and taking extra vitamins.   I went toSavannah and got my next Bible study—To Live Is Christ (the story of Paul) by Beth Moore.  I got two front tires for the van from JJ’s for $80 installed. Not bad for used tires. Beats the ones I was driving around on.  I went over to Mom’s and surprised her.  We went to WalMart and the Dollar Tree.  I enjoyed hanging out with her.  It’s been a while.

December 24, 2011 – – Christmas Eve.  My favorite time of year.  The excitement is still in the air.  Hallmark Man grilled steaks and they were delicious.  I took some pieces to the little miniature dachshund that lives behind us.  She’s so sweet.  Her people are out of town so I know she enjoyed the treat.  I tried to sit out in the swing and just enjoy spending time with the Lord and enjoying the starry night view but she wouldn’t have it. She barked and screeched at me to get me to come over and talk to her some more.  I couldn’t do it.  My legs are giving me a fit from squatting down and talking to her as it is.

December 25, 2011 —  I love all of the hype and mystery and excitement right up until Christmas day and then I get so down.  Not sure why.  I hate the drive to my sister’s house and hate the drive home.  I love being with my family but it is all just one big let-down.  I wish I could change that part of me.  I think back to when I was a child and when Mom finally told me there was no such thing as Santa (I was 12), it ruined Christmas for me from then on out. It took away the “magic.”  I know that Christmas is the celebration of Christ’s birth.  He is the best gift of all.  I really enjoyed giving gifts this year.  I didn’t go overboard, just something for the kids.

But now it’s over.  Sort of. Still have New Year’s Eve to go then it is really over.  It’s not like I have to go “back to the old grind” or wish I had more time off.  Quite the contrary. I love my job and get bored staying at home.

I know this morning I woke up in a funk because of weird dreams about work and church. I really, really miss church.  I like being a part of the body of Christ.  They are my family, too.  It’s been a year since I’ve been to FBC.   I miss them terribly.

But as for all of the holidays and the goodies and treats, the Lord has been with me and steered me from temptation. If I think about it too hard, I get down.  I do enjoy my sister’s blueberry crunch.  I love macaroni and cheese.  But they don’t love me.  It is not good for my body to eat that stuff.

December 29, 2011 – – I can’t believe this year is almost over.  The Lord has carried me through so many valleys this year: Daddy’s death; Justin’s death; My sciatic nerve problem; Hallmark Man almost dying from a necrotic appendix; root canal (I know…but trust me, I HATE them.   I got nauseated and felt like I was going to pass out numerous times during the procedure).

I have my dream job, my dream house, my dream dog (even though she is spoiled rotten and has the worst breath…I love her) and I am really enjoying just being with Hallmark Man and no drama.

I need to be in a size 20, possibly 18 pants but I’ll keep wearing the ones I have until next payday.  I almost hate to buy brand new because I will “shrink” out of them soon.  Oh well, if they keep up nicely, I can donate them to the Manna House.  Usually my clothes are too worn and frazzled to donate.  I am not a clothes horse, my walk-in closet is rather spaciously empty.  :-)Maybe when I actually enjoy shopping for clothes, I may have more, not sure yet.  I have always been one to have a couple of pairs of jeans, a couple of pairs of khakis, maybe two or three pairs of shorts and that’s it.  We don’t do seasonal clothing around here so my shirts go year round with everything.  Just add a jacket and VOILA!

I was doing my push ups tonight and stomach crunches and my goofy dog was licking my face as I sat up, making me laugh.  Of course, it’s ok.  I can always use a laugh. She brightens my day.

Still miss my church family….  This is the point where I wish Jesus would sit down and talk with me about that.  I don’t know what to do. ~sigh~

Contemplations

December 8, 2011 — – Miss Girl, my spoiled rotten basset hound,  got me up at 1:30 to go to the bathroom. Yes, I know her name is weird. It’s kind of a nick-name.  I always add “Miss” or “Mister” before a dog’s name when I’m talking to them and “girl” just followed behind so fluently that it stuck.  She answers to it.  She acts like the diva/drama queen name it is so we left it.  But as for getting up at 1:30am,  I am ready for a full night’s sleep. My brain doesn’t function properly without lots of sleep.

I have gone a 2nd night without pain spasms and a 2nd day without spasms at my desk. It’s been great.  I hope it stays that way!

December 9, 2011 – – I went to WalMart after work and walked around and didn’t have any pain so I stuck around and just enjoyed walking and browsing!  It was awesome!I’ve finally gotten back into some of my size 18-20 size shirts. I’ll be glad when my butt follows suit and my HUGE arms.  🙂

December 10, 2011 – –  Another gray and gloomy weather weekend. Oh well. I’m going to color my hair today and bathe the dog (she stinks!) So after I bathed the dog, I went outside and spoke to the little miniature dachshund that lives behind us. She is so adorable.  Poor thing, she was shaking so badly. It was cold outside and she was cold.  I put some birdseed on the ground (for the deer and the mourning doves).  I saw fresh deer skat so I know they came to visit last night or early this morning, looking for food.

I trimmed the dog’s toenails and gave her some cheese and then took some pieces to the little dog behind us.  She likes cheese, too.  It breaks my heart to see her cold and crying. I wish I could warm her up. Her little toenails are so long they are curving. I think since they had a baby, the dog got tossed outside.  It is just so sad.  I prayed for her before I did my Bible study today.

It is so funny that Beth Moore spoke on yielding to others, being merciful, etc. because that was what I had talked to the Lord about earlier this week when Boss mentioned the business growing and hiring someone else to sit at the front desk and answer phones and do purchasing.  I really like being in an office full of men.  There’s no pretense, competition or jealousy going on like it typically does with women.  I can be myself and not think about it.  But He answered me with this study today.  I do need Him to heal my insecurity and my mind. I thought back just a few years ago at how immature my thought process was and each year, He’s healing it little by little.  The Lord can do amazing things if we just let Him.

December 12, 2011 – Yesterday was rough. Had a migraine that just about made me sick before I finally went to bed to get some relief.

Migraine is gone but I am still fighting the Christmas issue with food.  Boss brought in some dark chocolate peppermint bark that looked amazing. I want some Christmas cookies but I know me.  If I start eating one, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop. I am like an alcoholic but with sweets.  No can do. Not even a little bit.

I’ll be glad when Christmas is over.  The “in your face” sweets will be gone.

December 18, 2011 — A co-worker’s wife introduced me to “The Pioneer Woman” via Facebook and I didn’t quite get it. This week, she sent a book to work with him for me to read.  I started reading her (the Pioneer Woman—a.k.a. Ree Drummond) story Saturday afternoon and finished it Sunday afternoon.  Best love story I ever read.  It was real. It didn’t have a ton of sex in it.  It reminded me of why I fell in love with my husband all those years ago and I still love him.  She has a show on Food Network and Hallmark Man and I watched her Christmas special this morning.  I just don’t think I could ever love cooking that much.  The prime rib looked good, though.  🙂

I noticed today that my size 22 jeans are loose.  Yippeeeeee!

Yesterday, I added a couple of things to my stretching routine—stomach crunches and floor push-ups.  My triceps were burning!  Still having issues with the sciatic nerve but not as bad.  I just really wish that I could get out of emptying the packages/pallets when they come in.  That does not help at all.  Bending, bending, climbing, stooping, climbing and more bending.  It aggravates my thigh and sciatic nerve for days.

It’s a cold, quiet Sunday evening.  I’m loving being at home with Hallmark Man and my dog.  All of us nestled up in comfy clothes with the lit Christmas tree glowing softly nearby.  We took our coffee table to Son’s house earlier. He needed something to put his TV on in his “game room” and I needed to get that out of the living room.  It was just crowding things. Now the room is much more “spacious” looking.  The furniture isn’t all crammed together.

I want to get them some things to help decorate their house.  Their living room is so sparse and naked.  I thought about a plant but between Chewy and Griz (their new golden retriever puppy), the plant wouldn’t stand a chance. Rubbermaid containers?  Crock pot?  Mirror for the wall?  I’ll have to think on that.  🙂

My Song is Back!

November 28, 2011 – – Finally! Back at work!  I enjoy my job but I really overdid it today. Went to Kroger before work, the bank, WalMart, Tractor Supply and the post office during lunch. 15 Boxes came in so I went in the back and unloaded them.  My sciatic nerve and muscles in that area are screaming.

I got home and Hallmark Man jumped right in with me, cut up onions for the meatloaf and cleaned up the kitchen, did laundry and I thanked him for his help and he looked at me funny and said, “It’s my job.”  The Lord answers prayer!

Later,  I took ½ a muscle relaxer and ½ a pain pill.  Getting ready to go to bed.

November 29, 2011 – – – So today was really slow at work. I went to the chiropractor and got some hip strengthening exercises.  I am looking forward to getting my muscles strong again.  I got my song back! I was singing with my iPod this morning and in the shower. I love it when the Lord gives me my song back!

Daughter came over tonight and got some Christmas decorations and brought my granddog. Hallmark Man cooked chili and since it is in the 30’s tonight, it perfect for the weather.

Time flies when we get home from work. I feel like I don’t have time to do much. I guess because the TV hogs all the time. Gotta get up early tomorrow to make up for leaving early today.

November 30, 2011 – – Got up at 5:30. Did my usual but added more stretching exercises in and I still didn’t make it to work by 8.  I tried but ended up there by 8:20.  I had to stop and put mail in the box and go back to the house to get my cell phone.  So, I figured if I get up at 5:15, that’ll give me plenty of time to do what I need and get there at 8am.

Nothing unusual happened today.   I did sing a little more this morning.  Not as much as yesterday but still singing.

December 1, 2011 – – Wow…I can’t believe it is December already!  My sciatic nerve is giving me a fit.  It woke me up at one point with my thigh throbbing.  I didn’t do my stretching exercises but a few times at work I did have to stretch because my sciatic nerve was aggravating me.

So once I got home I took ½ muscle relaxer & ½ hydrocodone. Hallmark Man cooked sausage and lima beans.  He also helped me clean the inside of my windshield.

I watched Life Today’s Beth Moore segment on “Shipwrecked but not ruined.”  It is really helping me to stay focused.

I need to start doing this journal in the mornings. I can’t really focus on what I really want to put down because of TV. I have a fresher brain in the morning anyway.

December 3, 2011 — – This morning I slept in until Hallmark Man woke me up around 11am. I didn’t realize it was so late. I did my stretches and my Bible study.  Somewhere before that, I decided to do another fast.  Now that I know that I can do it, I wanted to do it.  I want to spend the day with the Lord.  Just about the time I finished my study, Hallmark Man went off to take a nap.  So, I decided to start cleaning and patching up walls and doing some touch-up paint.  I talked with the Lord while I worked and sang.  I really do enjoy this.

Hallmark Man got up and helped with vacuuming and he took the wall molly out of the wall where the a/c thermostat was and patched it up. I finished cleaning the baseboards while the oven did its own self-cleaning.  It is definitely keeping it warm in here.  I washed blankets, too.

I went outside to take out the trash and the neighbors were out there raking and burning leaves.  So, I walked over to talk a bit with them and came inside.  My sciatic nerve was screaming.  Time to take a break.

I need to still flush my body out so I am going to continue drinking my lemon water and I will eat tomorrow.  I am hungry but it was because I hadn’t drank anything in a while.  Gotta start gulping water again.  Yay.

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