I’ve been known to run from the Lord. Not literally. Just in my mind. Why? Because I allowed the enemy into letting me fall into the fear trap of what if….
Our church has been going through Beth Moore’s study on the book of Esther. For such a small book, there is a ton of treasure in it to glean. One of those treasures is God’s providence, His timing.
I met Lori in June of 2008. I was working at an open house for Re/Max and that afternoon, she and her husband popped in. “We need to find a house by next week.” She stated matter-of-factly. I was floored and excited at the same time. Wow! The Lord was truly blessing me but not in the way that I first thought. Hindsight shows different.
She and her husband immediately began to search for a church home. We had been in the area four years and had drifted back and forth between looking for a church and going back to Savannah to our home church. They visited a couple of small churches and ended up going to First Baptist. We had tried there a few years back but I was not “feeling it” and was not happy with what I had seen during a Christmas program with teen girls on stage shaking their tops. I was shocked and appalled and decided that was not where I wanted to be. It wasn’t until she saw the church with fresh eyes and began to share how the pastor preached the Word of God and was dead on, that I began to reconsider. I really was weary of driving back and forth to our home church and the preacher there had started catering to the younger kids and seemed to drift from just preaching the Word. I prayed and was impressed upon by the Spirit to cut those apron strings and move on with my life to the one He was calling me to. My parents and sister attended the home church so that was another tie in that string. But, in order to fulfill the life God had planned for me, it had to be severed.
As I began to faithfully attend, my husband and kids followed suit. We re-joined as a family in September of 2008. I was overjoyed. My kids were leary because we had changed churches so many times in our lifetime (lots of “reasons”…more on that later). My son told me that if we stayed at that church, he would come. My teenage daughter still had a chip on her shoulder and was not happy about going.
I still held back. Not sure why except that I was afraid of commitment. What if somebody wants to see a house and I am in church? What if I don’t want to go to church and just want to relax at home? I know, stupid….right? But those were the type thoughts that ran through my mind. I let them plague me and torment me for a year.
What changed? More to come. Stay tuned.
Be blessed in the Lord!