Bragging on the wonderous works of my God

Posts tagged ‘dogs’

January Blues

January 1, 2012 – – Well, we’ve reached 2012.  Some would call it a milestone. I just feel like it’s another day.  Yesterday, while I showered and got dressed, I felt the Spirit speaking to me.  I had always wondered what my “fruit” was and yesterday, He told me.  Through teaching my step-daughter about Jesus, she is now actively involved in church and her youngest, Dekoda, was telling my step-son’s girlfriend, Kaitlyn, about Jesus.  How awesome is that?

I was soooo relieved yesterday to hear Beth Moore talk about her “wild man” husband, Keith.  She told us he goes to church when HE wants to.  She couldn’t make him do anything.  But it didn’t stop her from going, of course.

So, I felt like I had been sitting around here wallowing in self-pity for a year, waiting on Hallmark Man to make up his mind.

So, still struggling with the submission thing, I was praying in my heart about church.  I sensed the Spirit telling me to confront Hallmark Man head-on about it.  So, after wrestling with that for a bit, I finally asked him, “Ok. I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to be honest with me.”  He just stared blankly at me.  “Do you want to go to church or do you really just not care?”  I was hoping he would say he didn’t care and I could go back to MY church family.  I didn’t get that answer.  “I want to go to church.  I just haven’t found one I like.”  Well, Lord…now what??  He can’t find one he likes sitting on his butt on Sunday mornings playing video games.  

I can’t just up and leave him(did that for a year) if he wants to go (but I don’t see an effort here).  Why should I be the one to come up with the ideas???  Isn’t HE supposed to be the spiritual leader of the household??  I am the one to submit.  Yet, I am feeling guilty about not being in church.  I miss seeing the same faces on Sunday morning and Sunday night.  Wednesday night always made me uncomfortable.  I don’t know why churches insist on having small table groups and “everybody pray” (awkward) or come to the altar and pray if you feel led (even more awkward silence).  I know typically Wednesday nights are smaller crowds—not even a crowd–should say “group.”   Wednesday nights are hard to get to church. That is when I am usually the most tired.  Half the work week is over and I am ready to sleep.  What is it with Baptists and Wednesday nights???

Ok. I am rambling here but that’s how I feel.  Needed to get that out there.

I know I am losing weight still but feels like it is taking forever.  My leg is better.  I think squatting down to feed the little miniature dachshund behind us has actually strengthened it.

My size 22 black jeans are baggy.  I am thinking about trying on some 20’s at Wal-Mart this weekend—IF I can find any.  I looked before and couldn’t.  I may be stuck with the 22s for a bit longer.  Maybe I can go to the thrift store and find some decent pants to get me through. I hate to pay full price for pants I’ll shrink out of.

You know, maybe I should write in this journal in the mornings. I have more on my mind then.  By the time the evening comes, my mind is toast and I am fighting with my attention to the TV for it.

Next month is going to be hard on Mom.  Their wedding anniversary and the anniversary of his death will be here.  Can’t believe it’s almost been a year since he’s been gone. I miss him, but I know not like Mom does.  She’s all alone.  She needs a dog.  I don’t know what I would do without mine. She is so much company.  I get the attention from her that I don’t get from my husband.  I know he gets jealous of her but she does things that I like to do and he won’t.  Some days I get lonely and I don’t like more than 2 days off.  I can’t stand not having something to do.  I know…I’m weird.

 

Advertisements

Goodbye 2011

December 23, 2011 – – This week has flown by.  Yesterday, Boss bought steaks and we had a delicious Christmas lunch.  He has been sick this week and I’ve been gargling with salt water and taking extra vitamins.   I went toSavannah and got my next Bible study—To Live Is Christ (the story of Paul) by Beth Moore.  I got two front tires for the van from JJ’s for $80 installed. Not bad for used tires. Beats the ones I was driving around on.  I went over to Mom’s and surprised her.  We went to WalMart and the Dollar Tree.  I enjoyed hanging out with her.  It’s been a while.

December 24, 2011 – – Christmas Eve.  My favorite time of year.  The excitement is still in the air.  Hallmark Man grilled steaks and they were delicious.  I took some pieces to the little miniature dachshund that lives behind us.  She’s so sweet.  Her people are out of town so I know she enjoyed the treat.  I tried to sit out in the swing and just enjoy spending time with the Lord and enjoying the starry night view but she wouldn’t have it. She barked and screeched at me to get me to come over and talk to her some more.  I couldn’t do it.  My legs are giving me a fit from squatting down and talking to her as it is.

December 25, 2011 —  I love all of the hype and mystery and excitement right up until Christmas day and then I get so down.  Not sure why.  I hate the drive to my sister’s house and hate the drive home.  I love being with my family but it is all just one big let-down.  I wish I could change that part of me.  I think back to when I was a child and when Mom finally told me there was no such thing as Santa (I was 12), it ruined Christmas for me from then on out. It took away the “magic.”  I know that Christmas is the celebration of Christ’s birth.  He is the best gift of all.  I really enjoyed giving gifts this year.  I didn’t go overboard, just something for the kids.

But now it’s over.  Sort of. Still have New Year’s Eve to go then it is really over.  It’s not like I have to go “back to the old grind” or wish I had more time off.  Quite the contrary. I love my job and get bored staying at home.

I know this morning I woke up in a funk because of weird dreams about work and church. I really, really miss church.  I like being a part of the body of Christ.  They are my family, too.  It’s been a year since I’ve been to FBC.   I miss them terribly.

But as for all of the holidays and the goodies and treats, the Lord has been with me and steered me from temptation. If I think about it too hard, I get down.  I do enjoy my sister’s blueberry crunch.  I love macaroni and cheese.  But they don’t love me.  It is not good for my body to eat that stuff.

December 29, 2011 – – I can’t believe this year is almost over.  The Lord has carried me through so many valleys this year: Daddy’s death; Justin’s death; My sciatic nerve problem; Hallmark Man almost dying from a necrotic appendix; root canal (I know…but trust me, I HATE them.   I got nauseated and felt like I was going to pass out numerous times during the procedure).

I have my dream job, my dream house, my dream dog (even though she is spoiled rotten and has the worst breath…I love her) and I am really enjoying just being with Hallmark Man and no drama.

I need to be in a size 20, possibly 18 pants but I’ll keep wearing the ones I have until next payday.  I almost hate to buy brand new because I will “shrink” out of them soon.  Oh well, if they keep up nicely, I can donate them to the Manna House.  Usually my clothes are too worn and frazzled to donate.  I am not a clothes horse, my walk-in closet is rather spaciously empty.  :-)Maybe when I actually enjoy shopping for clothes, I may have more, not sure yet.  I have always been one to have a couple of pairs of jeans, a couple of pairs of khakis, maybe two or three pairs of shorts and that’s it.  We don’t do seasonal clothing around here so my shirts go year round with everything.  Just add a jacket and VOILA!

I was doing my push ups tonight and stomach crunches and my goofy dog was licking my face as I sat up, making me laugh.  Of course, it’s ok.  I can always use a laugh. She brightens my day.

Still miss my church family….  This is the point where I wish Jesus would sit down and talk with me about that.  I don’t know what to do. ~sigh~

Contemplations

December 8, 2011 — – Miss Girl, my spoiled rotten basset hound,  got me up at 1:30 to go to the bathroom. Yes, I know her name is weird. It’s kind of a nick-name.  I always add “Miss” or “Mister” before a dog’s name when I’m talking to them and “girl” just followed behind so fluently that it stuck.  She answers to it.  She acts like the diva/drama queen name it is so we left it.  But as for getting up at 1:30am,  I am ready for a full night’s sleep. My brain doesn’t function properly without lots of sleep.

I have gone a 2nd night without pain spasms and a 2nd day without spasms at my desk. It’s been great.  I hope it stays that way!

December 9, 2011 – – I went to WalMart after work and walked around and didn’t have any pain so I stuck around and just enjoyed walking and browsing!  It was awesome!I’ve finally gotten back into some of my size 18-20 size shirts. I’ll be glad when my butt follows suit and my HUGE arms.  🙂

December 10, 2011 – –  Another gray and gloomy weather weekend. Oh well. I’m going to color my hair today and bathe the dog (she stinks!) So after I bathed the dog, I went outside and spoke to the little miniature dachshund that lives behind us. She is so adorable.  Poor thing, she was shaking so badly. It was cold outside and she was cold.  I put some birdseed on the ground (for the deer and the mourning doves).  I saw fresh deer skat so I know they came to visit last night or early this morning, looking for food.

I trimmed the dog’s toenails and gave her some cheese and then took some pieces to the little dog behind us.  She likes cheese, too.  It breaks my heart to see her cold and crying. I wish I could warm her up. Her little toenails are so long they are curving. I think since they had a baby, the dog got tossed outside.  It is just so sad.  I prayed for her before I did my Bible study today.

It is so funny that Beth Moore spoke on yielding to others, being merciful, etc. because that was what I had talked to the Lord about earlier this week when Boss mentioned the business growing and hiring someone else to sit at the front desk and answer phones and do purchasing.  I really like being in an office full of men.  There’s no pretense, competition or jealousy going on like it typically does with women.  I can be myself and not think about it.  But He answered me with this study today.  I do need Him to heal my insecurity and my mind. I thought back just a few years ago at how immature my thought process was and each year, He’s healing it little by little.  The Lord can do amazing things if we just let Him.

December 12, 2011 – Yesterday was rough. Had a migraine that just about made me sick before I finally went to bed to get some relief.

Migraine is gone but I am still fighting the Christmas issue with food.  Boss brought in some dark chocolate peppermint bark that looked amazing. I want some Christmas cookies but I know me.  If I start eating one, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop. I am like an alcoholic but with sweets.  No can do. Not even a little bit.

I’ll be glad when Christmas is over.  The “in your face” sweets will be gone.

December 18, 2011 — A co-worker’s wife introduced me to “The Pioneer Woman” via Facebook and I didn’t quite get it. This week, she sent a book to work with him for me to read.  I started reading her (the Pioneer Woman—a.k.a. Ree Drummond) story Saturday afternoon and finished it Sunday afternoon.  Best love story I ever read.  It was real. It didn’t have a ton of sex in it.  It reminded me of why I fell in love with my husband all those years ago and I still love him.  She has a show on Food Network and Hallmark Man and I watched her Christmas special this morning.  I just don’t think I could ever love cooking that much.  The prime rib looked good, though.  🙂

I noticed today that my size 22 jeans are loose.  Yippeeeeee!

Yesterday, I added a couple of things to my stretching routine—stomach crunches and floor push-ups.  My triceps were burning!  Still having issues with the sciatic nerve but not as bad.  I just really wish that I could get out of emptying the packages/pallets when they come in.  That does not help at all.  Bending, bending, climbing, stooping, climbing and more bending.  It aggravates my thigh and sciatic nerve for days.

It’s a cold, quiet Sunday evening.  I’m loving being at home with Hallmark Man and my dog.  All of us nestled up in comfy clothes with the lit Christmas tree glowing softly nearby.  We took our coffee table to Son’s house earlier. He needed something to put his TV on in his “game room” and I needed to get that out of the living room.  It was just crowding things. Now the room is much more “spacious” looking.  The furniture isn’t all crammed together.

I want to get them some things to help decorate their house.  Their living room is so sparse and naked.  I thought about a plant but between Chewy and Griz (their new golden retriever puppy), the plant wouldn’t stand a chance. Rubbermaid containers?  Crock pot?  Mirror for the wall?  I’ll have to think on that.  🙂

The Trials of Life

October 28, 2011 – – Slept well last night—in my little bed.  I just love snuggling up with great covers and a comfy mattress.  Got up at 5:30, hit the floor running.  Ate sausage, took my meds, got a shower, washed dark clothes and headed out the door to get Hallmark Man from the hospital so I could get a full day’s work in.  About that time, my daughter called and said she was at the ER  She said her chest is hurting real bad and is barking and coughing.  She sat at the ER  from 5:30 to 8:45 and they are still moving her down the list.  She should have gone to a different ER.  My son has a hole in his ear drum from rough-housing with a friend.  You’d think he’d learn.  I guess I did too much with my leg because the interior groin area started hurting real, real bad. Even with the cane, it didn’t help much. Took a hydrocodone and am sitting on ice pack before I have to go get Hallmark Man’s medicine.

My only concern is not being able to pay bills this payday.  We have to eat. I don’t know what to do about the cable bill.

I made 28 hours this week. Woo…

I had to leave after an hour at work today to take Lindsay to the ER for bronchitis and upper respiratory infection, get her Rx filled and take her back home.  Worked a whole 4 hours today.

Had to go to Kroger, Tractor Supply, Walgreens, Parkers and then Guyton Grill before I could settle in at home.  I am ready for the weekend to relax! This whole roller coaster of trials and turbulence is wearing me out.

October 29, 2011 – – – I slept until 10 this morning, not all the way through the night.  I did get up numerous times to pee, as usual.  It was nice to stay in bed. I really didn’t want to get up at all.  Hallmark Man was up, watching TV and it was cloudy and had rained outside.  I couldn’t think of a reason to get up.

I decided to fast until dinner.  I cleaned out the bird feeder and got them some fresh food and then went into the bedroom to do my Bible study video.  I got two phone calls from my son.  He and his wife are buying a house. They just got pre-approved for $80k and want me to go house hunting with them tomorrow.  They are looking in Guyton so my Mom is coming, too.  Being this close to my house, I’m sure she’ll want to see it so I figured I needed to clean up some.

I slowly started by trimming the Indian blankets, grabbing the mail, sweeping the porch, watering the plants, vacuuming, laundry, cleaning the bathroom, Louis’ room, cleaning the counters, bathing the dog, etc etc.  It seemed like the more I did, the more needed to be done.

I finally sat down and ate spaghetti with Hallmark Man and cleaned the kitchen again.  Finally sat down around 6:15 with an ice pack for my back.  I’ve got two more loads going in the washer/dryer.  Lord give me strength!

I am ready for bed.  As I am glancing at the TV commercials, I can’t believe Christmas commercials are already on.  Geez….

I got a text that we are supposed to have a frost in the morning so I had to run out and grab the hanging baskets and bring them in.

I am finding myself tired and not liking Facebook anymore. Tired of the games and blocking most of them.  Not really being on it for a week while Hallmark Man was in the hospital broke me from it and I just realize there is more to life than playing on the computer.

A Little Patience

October 26, 2011 – – – I woke up this morning in intense pain.  Between my shoulder blades felt like a knife was there. I couldn’t take deep breaths without pain. I was afraid if I moved the wrong way, I’d be stuck that way.  I was about in tears, except that it would do no good to cry so I didn’t. I just prayed and prayed and prayed.  Emotionally spent and physically spent, I begged the Lord to tell me what to do.  I couldn’t make a decision. His Spirit kept telling me to go to the chiropractor.  I dropped by at 8:30 and called from the parking lot. They did the tens unit on my shoulder area and my buttock/hip area. I told the PT what was going on and she told me it was the sciatic nerve.  The chiro adjusted me, which hurt so bad I couldn’t catch my breath (I knew it would) and then he sent me back to the PT to do an ultrasound.  It is basically a machine that sends electrical pulses through the muscle like a deep tissue massage.  She hit several places that were super tender and confirmed that it was the sciatic nerve.  Doc is going to get a copy of my MRI so he can go over it with me tomorrow.  He says the nerve is acutely inflamed.  I am to keep ice on it 4 times a day.

I got to work and two of the guys had put away the shipment that came in.  So without much to do today, I stayed in my chair until I got stiff and had to move around. My other BFF Becki brought some chicken and rice dish she made for Hallmark Man.

My cousin called me and asked if she could bring me dinner. It was so sweet of her.

I ran home after work and gathered more stuff for Hallmark Man, took care of the dog, the birds and the flowers in the yard (they needed water badly), got the mail and headed to the hospital.

I visited with Hallmark Man a while by myself.  He’s doing so much better today. He doesn’t have his IV in so he can move around a bit more. They put him on real food today. He was thrilled to be able to eat again.

My cousin stopped by Poppy’s Bar-B-Que and got some chicken and brought it to the hospital. I enjoyed her company. We chatted a while and then she left.

Hallmark Man went in to get a bath/shower and freshen up while I proceeded to eat my chicken.  His sister and her boyfriend stopped by to visit.  I chatted with them until he got out of the bathroom and then I said my goodbyes and I left.  I got home around 8pm.  A wave of nausea hit me before I left the hospital.  I know it is from sheer exhaustion. The stress of the whole week plus go, go go go go go go go go all the time and in pain on top of that is wreaking havoc on me.

I do believe I will go to bed at 8:30. I need a good night’s sleep.

Didn’t make it until about 10 minutes to 9.  Oh well, close enough.

October 27, 2011…..I woke up with the “knife” sensation gone from between my shoulder blades. That was wonderful!  I fixed scrambled eggs with bacon & cheese and me and the dog ate breakfast together.

Did my Bible study this morning and then went to the chiro.  He read the results of my MRI and explained it so easily.  I have moderate to severe degeneration in the L1/S5 region and the hole where the nerves go is shrinking when the disc does.  My pain and everything is still the sciatic nerve.  Treatment (at $15 a pop doesn’t sound like much but it is when you’re living paycheck to paycheck) includes icing down, adjustments, ultrasound.  When I can get to where I can walk without wobbling or with a cane they’re going to have me start core exercises to build up the muscle in there to help my spine.

Work was BORING today.  Not much to do without Boss or being able to move around much.  I ate Hallmark Man’s leftover steak for lunch and collard greens and snacked on some pumpkin seeds—both of which were entirely too salty.

I’ve had multiple bowel movements today.  I wish my body would regulate itself.  You’d think that with the organic flax seeds I would go on a daily basis, but I typically do not.

Got home after work and shared some rotisserie chicken with the dog then made chicken salad out of it for my lunch tomorrow.

Visited Hallmark Man at the hospital and after talking to Doc, he’s going to be coming home in the early am. So I need to get to bed and get to sleep. Getting up at 5:30.  I’ve already cut my lemons for the morning and bagged some almonds for snack at work. Washing dark clothes now.

I have a wicked headache.  It’s a migraine and I have no pills for it.  Ugh.  Praying it goes away tonight.  I am going to sleep in my bed tonight.  I really hate that Sleep Number bed. It’s hard and uncomfortable.

I can feel my ankles…they are now cankles thanks to the salty stuff today. Lord help me, Jesus!

 

Chewy Comes for a Visit

October 21, 2011 – – –  Today started off slowly and painfully as usual.  I’ve changed my morning pills to:  2 glucosamine, 3 Krill Oil with Evening Primrose, 2 probiotics and Cymbalta.  I’m going to try and find some vitamins that aren’t made with “soy”.

Work was busy this morning. Then Boss decided he wanted to take me out to lunch for my birthday (a month late).  The guys wanted to go to El Potro so I told Boss that’s where I wanted to go.  I can eat meat off their buffet.  I was trying to decide if I was going to “cheat” and eat chips and those chimichanga rolls that I like so much when I got hit with flaxseed revenge.  I decided that my body was ridding itself of unwanted fat and, no, I did not want to cheat. I was so glad I ate what I was supposed to.  I didn’t crash mid afternoon like they all did.  🙂

Still in pain, I took a half of a hydrocodone. Today it was my knee that hurt and the inside of my groin.  I worked until 5:30 then headed to Wal-Mart to get a few things before I picked up Chewy to bring home for the weekend. He’s my son’s beagle and I love him like he was my child.

I hobbled around Wal-Mart and headed to my son’s.  He popped my back while I was there.  Wow!  I was out all the way down.  I couldn’t believe how much better I felt after he did it.  I miss him living with us.  At least he was there when I needed him.

Chewy was so excited to go home with me.  He’s such a sweet little boy. He held his head out the window for a while and then he’d pull it back in, shake his head and do it again.  He had a big time all the way here.

I had leftover chili for dinner.  The dogs played and now we are winding down.  I am just so relieved that I can breathe without pain.

October 22, 2011 – – – Got up around 6:30 to use the bathroom and I heard Miss Girl get off the sofa. It was potty time for the dogs too.  Gave them their morning cheese and let them outside.  It was 34 degrees out there this morning.  Brrr! Love it!

I typically go back to bed on a Saturday but got on up and did my usual morning routine and watched my session 4 video Bible Study on Jonah while eating breakfast and sharing with the dogs.

Got some laundry done, including the blankets on the sofas.  Got them dry and put them back and the dogs curled up on them and went to sleep. Sounds like a good idea!  🙂

So I laid down to take a nap and slept hard until about 3:30.  It was awesome!

Sat outside and enjoyed the sunshine. Hallmark Man decided not to cook steaks. Kinda sucked. I have been looking forward to them all day.  So I cooked some organic hamburger patties and organic broccoli for dinner.

I wish I could do more. Sitting around and hobbling around doesn’t help.

October 23, 2011 – – Dogs got me up at a little after 6am to go to the bathroom.  I told them “nite-nite” and went back to bed. I had been awake every every two hours peeing last night.  I finally got up after 9:30.  I ate breakfast and got a shower before heading off to get soy sauce, lemons and I happened upon some fresh collard greens. Stocked up on eggs and some chicken while I was there.  When I got home, I gave Chewy and Miss Girl a bath. Now they both smell good. They’ve gotten a ton of cheese today.  🙂

Change is Good

October 14, 2011 – – – I woke up stiff as all get out so I took a muscle relaxer hoping to get some relief.  Instead I walked around fighting sleep and stiff.  I went to WalMart and picked up a few things for the office then Hallmark Man came by and picked me up for lunch. We went to our favorite Mexican place and I got the steak fajitas.  I didn’t eat the chips. I smelled them and all I could think was “Fritos”….I hate Fritos.  That’s what my dog’s feet smell like on occasion. Yuk. Anyway,  I took some leftovers back to work and even ate those 2 hours later.   A co-worker got my computer working at work and I finally got on it and tried to set everything up before Monday (payday).  Didn’t work.  I went ahead and stayed after everybody left and did payroll—no distractions, no pressure, just peace and quiet.

Now I am home and relaxing.  Loving this cool weather.  I think the hummingbirds have left but I’ll look tomorrow and see.

October 15, 2011 – – Today has been a painful one. Hobbling all over, hurting to bend over…so I didn’t do a whole lot today.  I did walk to the mailbox with Miss Girl on the leash. She is awesome when I am walking with my cane. She stops and waits patiently for me to catch up. Imagine that…a basset hound waiting for her owner to catch up. LOL

Took a nap, hoping the pain would go away. I was so cold I could hardly get warm. I put on sweats, a bathrobe and loaded the bed with blankets and an afgan.  Had to put on socks and then I got warm enough to sleep.  The pain woke me up so I got up.

Hallmark Man grilled steaks tonight.  Phenomenal!  Oh, they were truly heavenly!  I will have to get the New York strips next time. Much better than Ribeyes to me!  The salad dressing I bought at Kroger was expired since April. Nice.  It was nasty anyway.  So I ate my salad which included baby romaine, celery, broccoli, bacon, tomato and chives with a little lemon juice.

Talked to Mom a while on the phone. Now we are watching “Green Lantern.”

October 16, 2011 – – Woke up to the scratching of the door at 5:45am. Miss Girl needed to go potty. Of course, she wouldn’t budge without her morning slice of cheese.  So I let her out. The moon was so bright that I almost didn’t turn on the porch light for her.  She’s such a good dog.  I left her out there until about 7:10, then let her back in. I went back to bed and slept until almost 10. My hip was hurting so I didn’t really want to get up.  My lower back hurt, too.  I took a hydrocodone and headed to the kitchen.  I fixed turkey sausage and some southwest hash brown potatoes.  I used my new ceramic pan.  It cooked awesome! I want to replace all of my Teflon pots/pans with ceramic. They cook so much better.  It’ll take time to do that because they are pricey but worth it.

I started emptying the dishwasher and realized my space in the kitchen was not used very well so I started cleaning out glasses, mugs, cups and food that we didn’t use or had expired.  Moved some things around and now the kitchen isn’t as crowded and flows better.

My hip muscles are burning from moving around so much but I kept going.  I needed to move around.  I swear sometimes I wonder if I have muscular dystrophy.  My muscles tighten up like a rubber band and the more I use them, the tighter they get.

I think I’m going to take a nap.  I love Sunday naps.  🙂

Tag Cloud