Bragging on the wonderous works of my God

Posts tagged ‘praying’

Aware

Yesterday morning I felt compelled to fall on my face before the Lord God. Not on my knees, but my face.  His majesty, love and sovereignty were overwhelming.

“The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.”  Ps. 126:3

I was listening to the song “Aware” by Salvador and the words just jumped out at me.“Make me aware; make me see that everything I am is not all about me. Take my world; turn it around so the obvious can finally be found.”

In the last two years, my “world” has been turned upside down. Humanly speaking, I have lost my home, my job (actually happened in 2008 to which I turned to real estate and we all know how that went…), my Daddy, my health. But during the entire process, I saw what faith can do.  Believing that God has our best interest at heart and trust in Him, we will then see through a different lens.

I had an expectant heart that God had a plan for my life.  He did not disappoint.  I am living in the house of my dreams. I don’t own it, but you know what?  Abraham didn’t own a house. Jesus didn’t own a house either.  This world is not my home! I am just passing through. My true home lies in Heaven with my Savior.

I lost my mobility in August of 2011 due to an acutely inflamed sciatic nerve, but gained an awareness of a need that had long been neglected—my health.  The Lord has turned my health around. It is absolutely NOTHING I have done, except eating whole, natural food. It is for His honor and glory. I have not even been physically able to exercise so that He alone can take the credit. It is sometimes still painful to walk but I am praying that the Lord will restore my mobility when my health is where it should be.

I now am working my dream job. IF I hadn’t lost my job, my house…I wouldn’t have taken a lower paying, part time job that led to this one. I say it that way because when I first lost my job, I was making fantastic money. It wasn’t until we were at the point of “desperation” that God opened a door for me that I would have never taken IF He had not engineered the circumstances.  God had a plan and it was more than I could have dreamed.

He has made me more aware of Him than I ever knew before and I cannot get enough. I want to know Him more.

He is the “obvious” that can be found when we open our eyes.

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Free at last!!

Wednesday, the 14th of March, was my last dose of Cymbalta.  I am free at last !!  20 days ago, I began to taper off by removing 10 beads a day out of the 60 mg capsule to eliminate as much of the withdrawal symptoms as possible.  I have read some horror stories, let me tell you.   If you don’t believe me, go to www.cymbaltawithdrawal.com and check it out.

I can truly say that I did it with lots of prayer, whole, natural food and supplements.  The one that seemed to help the most with keeping side effects at bay were the Alpha Lipoic Acid (ALA) and lots of fish/krill oil.  Oh, believe me, when I tell you I have a ton of supplements that I have been using to get healthy.  Although when I first started my journey back in late September, it has continually changed.  At first, it was just plain Nature Made vitamins until I started doing research.

I have shrunk from a size 26 to almost a 16 since October, 2011.

Only God could have done what He has done with me.  I have learned so much via research and study.  God said in Matthew 7:7 to “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

My life has been a roller-coaster of diet programs.  I lost 75 lbs on the Sugarbusters diet but it was not a lifestyle change. It was not for my health.  I gained back twice that.   I tried Weight Watchers back in the day when you ate green beans and tuna. To this day, I am not a fan of green beans and tuna.

I had to find something that worked for my body and something I could live with the rest of my life.  It had to be a lifestyle change.    Hallmark Man has even joined in since he’s seen such a difference in me and let me tell you, I am seeing a difference in him as well.

Whole, natural, unprocessed food is the way to go.  Supplement with a good, whole food, organic vitamin; krill oil; garlic; gingko, magnesium, 7-Keto, Alpha-lipoic-acid, L-Carnitine, L-Lysine, Spirulina, Chlorella (gets rid of toxins!),  vitamin D3, Ubiquinol (CoQ10), and a good psyllium husk fiber (organic is best).

Of course, everybody’s body is different but that is what works for me and I am seeing changes all the time.  Thank you, Lord!!!

Free Your Mind

I have been on anti-depressants since the year 2000.  I was told that it would be a life-long issue with me since it runs in my family.  I bought into that mindset.  Until recently.

I have been trying to turn my life around physically by going organic and eating more healthy, natural food and taking natural supplements.  In the short 5 months that I’ve been doing this, I have seen an amazing change in myself physically and mentally.

I didn’t start any of this without a lot of prayer.  I wanted the Lord’s blessing on this and I’ve asked for His wisdom, daily, along the way.

I’ve been doing a lot of research, especially about how to get off Cymbalta.  The internet sites I went to scared me to death.  The withdrawal symptoms people experienced were horrible.  I continued to pray about my deep desire to go off anti-depressants.

I realized that my mind had to be healed before I could attempt this.  Heal your body naturally and your mind will follow.

I did get some good tips on how to come off this medicine that had long since lost its usefulness, although I was not ready before now.

Each day, I am removing 10 more beads from the capsule I am taking and I am praying that in 40 days, I will be free.  I am 4 days in and Praise God! No side effects.

The supplements that I have been taking are:  ALA, Omega 3 (Krill Oil), L-Lysine, Probiotics, Chlorella, Spirulina, Organic Whole Food Vitamins, Flaxseed Oil, Magnesium, 7-Keto (Dhea).  Chlorella was to detox my system from all of the toxins in it.  I’ve learned through research that the gut has to be healthy for the brain to be healthy.  It’s a solid connection.

My verse that I am claiming during this is Galations 5:1  “It is for freedom that Christ set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

With God’s help, I am ready to free my mind.

Slow and Steady

November 12, 2011 – – – – I can fit in to my size 22 jeans!!!  WooHoo!  2 months, 2 sizes down.  Praise God!  To God alone be the glory!!! In my brokenness physically, I could not have done this.  It’s all Him!!

November 14, 2011 – – Got up and did my first day of the Bible study of James with Beth Moore. Not connecting yet but I know I’ll get there.

Work was crazy busy today. So busy, I ate cold steak and worked at the same time. What a mess!  My left leg kept feeling like it was being pulled out of joint again because I was getting up and down and up and down and up and down out of my chair.  Couldn’t wait to get off work and out of that chair!

November 15, 2011 – – – Today’s Bible study left me with some meat to chew on.  I love these studies!

Went to see Dr. Hamby today and explained about the leg issue.  He told me that all of the leg joint muscles are trying to compensate for the inflamed sciatic nerve and when one gets out of whack, it messes all of them up. It is basically a muscle spasm.  Makes so much sense. So when it happened again today, and I stood up, I waited for the spasm to ease, then went on.

November 18, 2011—Still down about Marlboro Man. He is disagreeable, argumentative and defensive about everything.  I wish there was something I could do but he switches on and off like a switch.  All I can do is pray.  Realized looking back that it had to do with medications during and after surgery that affected his mood. But for the time being, I had a hard time focusing on Bible study this morning because I couldn’t seem to pick myself up, my heart was just heavy.

I just realized that I’ve been going a few nights without pain in my leg!!!  I can walk without limping for the most part. I just have to walk slowly.

Slowly.  It’s getting there…gradually. Thank you, Lord!

 

 

Change is Good

October 14, 2011 – – – I woke up stiff as all get out so I took a muscle relaxer hoping to get some relief.  Instead I walked around fighting sleep and stiff.  I went to WalMart and picked up a few things for the office then Hallmark Man came by and picked me up for lunch. We went to our favorite Mexican place and I got the steak fajitas.  I didn’t eat the chips. I smelled them and all I could think was “Fritos”….I hate Fritos.  That’s what my dog’s feet smell like on occasion. Yuk. Anyway,  I took some leftovers back to work and even ate those 2 hours later.   A co-worker got my computer working at work and I finally got on it and tried to set everything up before Monday (payday).  Didn’t work.  I went ahead and stayed after everybody left and did payroll—no distractions, no pressure, just peace and quiet.

Now I am home and relaxing.  Loving this cool weather.  I think the hummingbirds have left but I’ll look tomorrow and see.

October 15, 2011 – – Today has been a painful one. Hobbling all over, hurting to bend over…so I didn’t do a whole lot today.  I did walk to the mailbox with Miss Girl on the leash. She is awesome when I am walking with my cane. She stops and waits patiently for me to catch up. Imagine that…a basset hound waiting for her owner to catch up. LOL

Took a nap, hoping the pain would go away. I was so cold I could hardly get warm. I put on sweats, a bathrobe and loaded the bed with blankets and an afgan.  Had to put on socks and then I got warm enough to sleep.  The pain woke me up so I got up.

Hallmark Man grilled steaks tonight.  Phenomenal!  Oh, they were truly heavenly!  I will have to get the New York strips next time. Much better than Ribeyes to me!  The salad dressing I bought at Kroger was expired since April. Nice.  It was nasty anyway.  So I ate my salad which included baby romaine, celery, broccoli, bacon, tomato and chives with a little lemon juice.

Talked to Mom a while on the phone. Now we are watching “Green Lantern.”

October 16, 2011 – – Woke up to the scratching of the door at 5:45am. Miss Girl needed to go potty. Of course, she wouldn’t budge without her morning slice of cheese.  So I let her out. The moon was so bright that I almost didn’t turn on the porch light for her.  She’s such a good dog.  I left her out there until about 7:10, then let her back in. I went back to bed and slept until almost 10. My hip was hurting so I didn’t really want to get up.  My lower back hurt, too.  I took a hydrocodone and headed to the kitchen.  I fixed turkey sausage and some southwest hash brown potatoes.  I used my new ceramic pan.  It cooked awesome! I want to replace all of my Teflon pots/pans with ceramic. They cook so much better.  It’ll take time to do that because they are pricey but worth it.

I started emptying the dishwasher and realized my space in the kitchen was not used very well so I started cleaning out glasses, mugs, cups and food that we didn’t use or had expired.  Moved some things around and now the kitchen isn’t as crowded and flows better.

My hip muscles are burning from moving around so much but I kept going.  I needed to move around.  I swear sometimes I wonder if I have muscular dystrophy.  My muscles tighten up like a rubber band and the more I use them, the tighter they get.

I think I’m going to take a nap.  I love Sunday naps.  🙂

October Begins Anew

October 2, 2011 – I had an OK night. Closer to morning, I felt as if my body hurt all over, almost flu-like.  I had taken a hydrocodone before bed because I was hurting.  I’ve stopped using deodorant with aluminum in it.  I’ve stopped aspartame, sugar and grains. I know it is going to take time for this to clear out of my body.  I am so ready to be pain free.  I’ve noticed that I can bend over and pick stuff up without the pinch/pain feeling. That’s progress.

Did my regimen of eggs, Cymbalta, glucosamine, probiotics, Estroven and a multi-vitamin this morning.  Took two Aleve since I felt crummy still.  Drank my vanilla biscotti coffee with one packet of Stevia.  I’m getting used to it.  It really tastes more like dark chocolate.  Louis says it smells like pee.  Yay.  Oh well, it is something different to drink other than water.

I did my first session video with Priscilla Shirer, “Jonah, A Life Interrupted” and the tears just began to flow. Not sure why. Maybe I knew I needed to re-think my “interrupted” life.  I do know it was a Divine Intervention.  I was on a collision course and spiraling out of control in the financial arena. Only He could save me.  I am excited about what He is going to show me and teach me during this next six weeks.

As I sat here, my neighbor was cutting grass.  It sounded like they were cutting ours, too.  I think I will bake her a strawberry nectar cake this afternoon.  They are great neighbors.  He’s not a believer in Christ and needs to see God’s love somewhere outside of “religion.”

Didn’t have a perfect day. Ended up having to take some hydrocodone this evening. Walking was painful.  I was limping and hobbling from room to room.

I have a mole on my leg that I think is melanoma. I keep wondering if all of this pain isn’t cancer spreading.  You know, you think the worst when pain goes on for so long like this. I keep hoping that time and a healthy diet will clear it up. I am praying that the weight loss will help.

I had tuna and pickles for lunch, stir fry with beef, broccoli and snow peas for dinner.  I had plenty of Omega-3 today plus some sunshine. It was gorgeous outside. Nice breeze blowing, cool temperatures so I sat out with the dog and soaked up some rays.  Tended to the flowers and found some interesting creatures there.  Cool looking spider, green lynx had laid her eggs, hornworm caterpillar and another caterpillar on my verbena.  Picked seeds from my four o’clocks.  Set aside some of the lemon seeds to plant. We’ll see how that works.

Tried to take a nap with the dog. Doesn’t work well on a twin bed. I finally did get into a position that didn’t hurt.  We slept for a bit. I need a bigger bed.

It’s 10 o’clock. Guess I need to head off to bed. Got payroll in the morning.

I tried to sleep in the bed with Louis but was in too much pain to get comfortable. Went back to my little room, took a hydrocodone and went to sleep.

October 3, 2011 – -Slept OK last night after the pain subsided. Had a time getting around the house this morning. Sharp pain shooting down my right thigh. I feel like I need a crutch or a cane sometimes to take the pressure off that leg.  Then, other times, I am fine. This is just so weird. It moves and changes constantly.

Breakfast consisted of the usual: eggs with bacon pieces and cheese, coffee (grabbed regular by accident so I had to pour some creamer in to make it drinkable), glucosamine, Cymbalta, Estroven, probiotics and a multi-vitamin.

I need to have blood work done. I guess I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll have to cook my eggs and eat them afterward.  Hmmm….not sure that’s going to be so tasty.  I know Miss Girl will be disappointed. She likes sharing my food.

Had tuna with a little mayo and pickles for lunch.  I’ve been drinking my water with lemon and Stevia.  I grab an Altoid here and there in case my breath is kickin’.  I don’t want to kill my co-workers with my dog breath.  🙂

Read some more in the “No Grain Diet” book. Got really down because everytime I think I’m doing the right thing, I read somewhere that it’s not. I’ve been drinking water with lemon juice and Stevia because I really hate plain water.  Well, apparently that’s “sugar” and I’m not supposed to drink it that way.  I’m not supposed to eat ham (sugar-cured…makes sense).  I can eat ground Ostrich?? Where the crap do they have that??  I’m just royally frustrated and I prayed about it.  I am trying to do what I can with the limited funds, food and mobility and I am asking God to bless my effort.  Can you believe that tuna was not on the OK list?  This guy is all about organic food and nothing processed and perfect water, etc etc.  I could throw in the towel, but I’m not. I’ll do what I can and move on.

I am so ready to be pain free.

Hold On Tight!

Do you ever feel like you are flying by the seat of your pants and life is just nuts and you wonder when you are going to land?  Last week was just that nuts for me.  It seemed like the longest week of my life but it was so busy!

God has just been so merciful and gracious, in spite of my blunders.  I love that about Him! 

As some of you may or may not know, we are upside down in a monstrous mortgage that we cannot pay.  We realized that we were in a sinking ship and after much prayer….and I mean MUCH prayer…to the point that  I sometimes felt like God was sighing as I repeatedly came to Him for an answer or to just lay out what was on my heart, we knew we had to give up our home.  I had so many “what ifs” going on and “how?” and all sorts of questions imaginable.  But another thing about God that I love is that He is so patient and He remembers that we are but dust and understands that as Beth Moore put it, “it is scary to be us.”  We don’t know everything like He does.  Trusting in blind faith is hard only when you aren’t sure the path you are taking is the right one. That’s the problem I was having. 

We had looked around at a few rentals and I was so discouraged by what I saw.  One day I had lunch with a friend from church and she said, “Why don’t you rent Jason’s house? He hasn’t been able to sell it for a year.”  Jason was our former youth minister who took a position in another state.  With the housing market being the way it is, his house was just sitting.  So I called him and offered what we could afford to pay monthly.  He said he hadn’t really considered renting it but it was an idea he would run by his wife.  Long story short, we came to an agreement.  It happened to be just as his current listing for sale was ending and no prospects in sight.  I believe all of this was God’s timing, for both of us.  He was paying two mortgages and we were paying a super-steep one.

This house is a little smaller than the one we were in but I love everything about it.  You know the Scripture in Psalms that says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart?” I know that to be so true!  Indulge me for a moment to share how He has done just that!! 

Our house that we owned faced east and west. Everytime the wind blew, we didn’t get it coming inside.  It was rare for their to be an east/west wind. It always seemed to come north/south.  It used to frustrate me so bad when I wanted the wind and fresh air to flow through the house.  But this house we are renting faces north/south. I can open my windows and get a wonderful breeze!  I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes right now. My teens would definitely do that.  But this is another thing I love about God, if it matters to me, it matters to Him! 

When Louis and I got married back in 1986, we moved to a neighborhood where we were on the main road.  Cars at all hours of the night driving by.  I didn’t want that again.  But, the house we moved into was the same.  It wasn’t bad until the last couple of years.  Boom-boom boxes from cars coming by at 10-11 o’clock at night drove me nuts.  Car lights shining in the windows because of  the way the street turned.  People tossing their trash into our yard.  I left Savannah to get away from that and here we were right back in the mess.  The rental is off the beaten path.  A single driveway leads to our house and our neighbor’s.  It is so quiet out here.  I can see the stars! No blinding lights from the neighbor’s big halogen lights!  No trains going by at all hours of the night either.  I just love it!!

 There is a chain of convenience stores in our area that I just love. They are clean and have amazing food and their chewy ice can’t be beat. Everytime I go near a Parkers, I go in it.  I have fussed about them not coming to Rincon—even sent them an email. They are everywhere else so why not there??  Well, we are now less than 5 minutes from one.  WooHoo!  While we were in the process of moving, and obviously too tired to cook, we have been eating there. The macaroni and cheese is homemade and the fried chicken is delicious!  I think I’m going to turn into a fried chicken, I’ve eaten that so much in the past week.  God is so good!

I fell in love with Effingham county mainly because of the ruralness of it.  The northern part has farms and when I drive past those, I would almost veer off the road because I was too busy enjoying God’s creation:  cows, goats, sheep, donkeys, pigs, horses…I just love it.  You know what is funny?  If we had been looking for a house to buy, I more than likely would have never considered where we are now.  But God, in His sovereignty, knew exactly what I loved and even though “this world is not my home,”  He gave us a wonderful place to live on this planet until our time on earth is done. 

Last week was moving week for us.  I rented the U-haul and about that time, my husband’s work picked up so much that he couldn’t take off.  My son was working night shift.  It was raining.  What a crazy time.  I had to be the motivating factor in getting it all done.  My husband seemed to think we could take our time and move a little at the time.  It would be OK if we lived just around the corner but it was a 25 mile round trip and gas is not cheap.  We have experienced challenges during this and it just seemed like we were overwhelmed but the Lord got us through it.  My van was wrecked  (my son’s fiance was coming to pick me up from one house to the next and not knowing where she was, ran the van over a stump and ripped off the spare and disconnected the a/c hoses from the back) and our refrigerator burned out (ice maker was smoking and kicked the breakers), thank the Lord we had another one. Inspite of all of the obstacles, bruises and soreness…we are still here, Praise God! 

I’m telling ya, life is a wild ride.  God is never boring. So hold on tight and enjoy every moment!

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